There are moments in life when God surprises us—when we think the story is over, but He starts a brand-new chapter. I’ve lived through pain, betrayal, grief, and great loss. I’ve experienced the heartbreak of being overlooked, misunderstood, and even pitied. There were times people showed concern, but only as long as I stayed in sorrow. Some even hoped I’d remain alone in it. But God had other plans.
Today, I’m living in a season of true happiness. Not because everything is perfect, but because I’ve been blessed with a wife who genuinely honors our marriage, cherishes our journey, and walks beside me—not behind or ahead, but right beside me. We serve one another, we laugh together, we cry together, and we live together—truly live. It’s a joy that I never imagined could be possible again.
I’ve learned through the years that not everyone is comfortable with your healing. Not everyone celebrates your happiness. And when you begin to thrive, the faces of people change—some smile with you, and others scowl behind you. But here’s the truth I’ve come to accept: if people can’t rejoice in what God is doing in your life, they were never really for you in the first place. And that’s okay.
Let me tell you something I’ve come to understand:
There are three types of people in your life:
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Confidants – These are rare. They’re for you, no matter what. If you’re in a storm, they’re in the boat with you. If you’re in a mess, they help clean it up. Their loyalty isn’t based on what you have, but who you are. Treasure them.
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Constituents – They’re not for you, but they are for what you are for. As long as your path benefits theirs, they’re by your side. But don’t confuse their companionship with commitment. When your purpose no longer serves theirs, they move on.
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Comrades – These aren’t for you or what you’re for. They’re simply against what you’re against. They’ll fight alongside you for a cause, but when the battle is over, so is their loyalty.
Be careful not to misplace people in your life. If you give a constituent the trust of a confidant, you may find your pain spread in places you never gave permission. But don’t let that harden your heart. Let it strengthen your discernment.
To my children, their mother’s family, and those who may read this—I share this with humility and care. This isn’t about proving anyone wrong or speaking ill of the past. This is about showing that God restores, God heals, and God brings joy again—even when others have counted you out.
Mistakes? I’ve made some. Regrets? I’ve had a few. But God’s grace has given me beauty for ashes, and for that, I will forever be grateful. If you can celebrate with me, I welcome your joy. If not, I still love you. But I am no longer living to please people. I am living in the joy that only God could have written into my story.
Happiness is not a betrayal of the past—it’s the fruit of healing and God’s mercy.
And those who are truly for you will rejoice with you in it.
Blessings,
Dr. John Roberts, THD